"Assuming our role as leader also gives children rest. Children do not want to be in the lead, even though it may seem like they do at times. Developmentally, they are not ready for it. Just as I wouldn’t want to be on a plane without a competent pilot, children want to feel secure in our ability to lead our families.
When they see us get constantly ruffled by their actions, it appears we aren’t capable. To use the airplane reference again, I would feel very worried if my pilot had a big emotional reaction to turbulence.
The pilot’s reaction would cause me to feel emotionally uneasy. It would probably cause me to have a big reaction because I’m looking to her/him to lead in this scenario. In the same way, our responses and reactions can cause our children to feel emotionally uneasy. So, while I’m not suggesting we be robotic or inhuman in our reactions, we do have the responsibility as parents to ensure that our kids feel confident in our ability to handle raising them, even (and maybe especially) when they test us."
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