Elizabeth Gilbert just cracked me out of my protective shell and into a puddle of creative possibility. I had been talking about 'shame' with the kinesiologist, off of the back of Brene Brown's Netflix special. She recommended I read Big Magic; I can't recall if it was to get my head around the concept of shame more clearly, or shake me into more comfortably creating... either way it worked, and I feel more ready than ever to do and be and write.
"Bravery means doing something scary.
Fearlessness means not even understanding what the word scary means."p22
"Just because you don't need your fear when it comes to creativity, of course, doesn't mean your fear won't show up. Trust me, your fear will always show up - especially when you're tryig to be inventive or innovative. Your fear will always be triggered by your creativity, because creativity asks you to enter into realms of uncertain outcome, and fear hates uncertain outcome."p23
"...the Romans didn't believe that an exceptionally gifted person was a genius; they believed that an exceptionally gifted person had a genius."p67 Which is kind of genius in itself; we can't take all the credit, OR all the blame...
"Either way, the vulnerable human ego is protected.
Protected from the corrupting influence of praise.
Protected from the corrosive effects of shame."p68
"Creative entitlement doesn't mean behaving like a princess, or acting as though the world owes you anything whatsoever. No, creative entitlement simply means believing that you are allowed to be here, and that - merely by being here - you are allowed to have a voice and a vision of your own."p92
"The arrogance of belonging is not about egotism or self-absorption. In a strange way, it's the opposite; it is a divine force that will actually take you out of yourself and allow you to engage more fully with life. because often what keeps you from creative living is your self-absorption (your self-doubt, your self-disgust, your self-judgement, your crushing sense of self-protection.) The arrogance of belonging pulls you out of the darkest depths of self-hatred - not by saying "I am the greatest!" but merely by saying "I am here!"p93
And our fears? ..... They're... boring. Elizabeth talks about how her fears were boring to everyone except herself, until one day they were:
"I somehow figured out that my fear had no variety to it, no depth, no substance, no texture. I noticed that my fear never changed, never delighted, never offered a surprise twist or an unexpected ending. My fear was a song with only one note - only one work, actually - and that word was "STOP!"
Think about the bad habits you have, the ones that hold you back from your greatest goals and potential... do you realise they are in fact FEARS? That they are holding you back? Perhaps it's over eating, or drinking wine every night, or that we won't succeed if we try... all fears, shouting STOP! and (so far) successfully halting your tracks of progress, because you are afraid. It's the same story every time, and it's boring. It's time to break it.
"I spent years pushing back against my mother's unshakable faith in my strength and abilities. Then one day, somewhere in adolescence, I finally realised that this was a really weird battle fro me to be fighting. Defending my weakness? That's seriously the hill I wanted to die on?
As the saying goes: "Argue for your limitations and you get to keep them."" p18 Our drinking, our eating, the donuts, or hot chips. Let's stop arguing for them.
I don't even want to summarise this one, just read it:
And the age old saying of 'dress for success' gets reinforced with a "fake it til you make it":
"Dress for the novel you want to write." p164 Good point; guess I should get out of my pyjamas for that business book I want to write...
And for God's sake, break up with the idea of perfectionism!!!
"Perfectionism is nothing more than a deep existential angst that says, again and again, "I am not good enough and i will never be good enough."p167
"We all need an activity that is beyond the mundane and that takes us out of our established and limiting roles in society (mother, employee, neighbor, brother, boss, etc.) We all need something that helps us forget ourselves for a little while.... We need something that takes us so far out of ourselves that we forget to eat, forget to pee, forget to mow the lawn, forget to resent our enemies, forget to brood over our insecurities. Prayer can do that for us, community service can do it, sex can do it, exercise can do it, and substance abuse can most certainly do it (albeit with god-awful consequences) - but creative living can do it, too." p172
"If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you.
If you don't bring forth what is within you, what you don't bring forth will destroy you."
- Gospel of Thomas
"At the end of your creative adventure, you have a souvenier - something that you made, something to remind you forever of your brief but transformative encounter with inspiration." p172
"People - the3 ones who stand at the gates of our dreams - are not automatons. They are just people. They are just like us. The are whimsical and quirky. They're a littel different every day, just as you and I are a little different every day. There is no neat template that can ever predict what will capture any one person's imagintation, or when; you just to reach them at the right moment. But since the right moment is unknowable, you must maximise your chances. Play the odds. Put yourself forward in stubborn good cheer, and then do it again and again and again...
The effort is worth it, because when at last you do connect, it is an otherworldy delight of the highest order. Because this is how it feels to lead the faithful creative life: You try and try and try, and nothing works. But you keep trying, and you keep seeking, and them sometimes, in the least expected place and time, it finally happens. You make the connection. Out of nowhere, it all comes together. Making art does sometimes feel like you're holding a séance, or like you're calling out in the night for a wild animal on the prowl. What you're doing seems impossible and even silly, but then you hear the thunder of hooves, and some beautiful beast comes rushing into the glade, searching for you just as urgently as you have been searching for it." p195
Don't quit too soon.
Realise your ego outlines who you are, and your preferences, but do not let it take over.
"An unchecked ego is what the Buddhists call "a hungry ghost" - forever famished, eternally howling with need and greed." pg249
And if you lose inspiration, go to something else, anything else, that interests you. Just move, motion cultivated inspiration, which eventually should bring you back to your original passion with inspiration again.
I'm so grateful to myself for putting these notes together to reference on another day, perhaps of lackluster inspiration and very low hope. But for now, Big Magic (which I highly recommend reading or re-reading, is that obvious?) has my creative juices typing new words each day (not this post, this is copy cat note taking at it's finest) during a time in my life where I wouldn't otherwise try to fit it in. I hope Elizabeth Gilbert's words will inspire endless creativity in all of us.
K x
Comments